relationship with ex, friends with ex

A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else in order to get over breaking up with you.  Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up.  They’re used to help people move on from a real love.

And that’s the key to getting your ex back.  She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why she lost you.  It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers.  It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off.  What matters is that you have a real love.

Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship.  If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.”  If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football.  Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons.  Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy.  And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.

If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship.  You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course.  Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him.  After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.

That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away.  Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship.  When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous.  Welcome her back graciously.  Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Here are the best steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

·    Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life.  Let her figure this out on her own.

·    Don’t apologize over and over.  If you did something wrong,  say you’re sorry.  Once.  But move on.  She knows the real reason she loves you.

·    Don’t make promises to change.  You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.

·    Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault.  She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.

·    Do not ever, ever beg her to take you back.

When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship.  You can make up with her and get back together.  Don’t worry.  The rebound relationship is a sign that she still loves  you.

Tags: Missing Something, Monday Night Football, People, Philosophy, Real Love, Rebound Relationship, Rebound Relationships, Relationship Work

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 16th, 2009 at 12:55 pm and is filed under relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.