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What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long term?

The best piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually show that they want.

It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose.

Women say “I want a man who listens to me.”  They choose the man who dominates the conversation.  Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.”  They go after the guy with money.

Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite?  The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together.

The basic biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species.  In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.

Is the good dad someone who listens to her?  No, it is someone who will provide for her children.  And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to be successful.

Women need men who can be good providers.  While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby.  As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.

A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her.  That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children.

But having a good income is not enough.  A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children.  That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry.

It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase.  When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.

Even though people today make money more with their brains than their muscles, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide.  That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the consruction worker over the computer nerd.

So, the best relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and then privide it.

Tags: Engagement Ring, Find A Mate, Future Children, Good Papa, Good Sense Of Humor, Lawyer, Longevity, Men And Women, Motivators, Occasions, Paralegal, Relationship Advice, Sense Of Humor, Sperm, Subconscious Level, Successful Women

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 13th, 2009 at 10:47 pm and is filed under relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.