It takes two. 

Often with the pain and heartbreak of a break up, it is easy to blame the other person for your misery.  But the truth is that if the relationship was no longer working, you were part of the problem.  Evaluate what went on so that you can apply the lessons to your next relationship.

 Give women their personal space.

Women like to cuddle and snuggle.  They may seem to always be around.  But they need their personal space too.  Men have a tendency to be possessive.  We want to keep tabs on where they’re going and what they’re doing there.  If any woman has ever cheated on you, this instinct becomes stronger.  But, trust is a key component in a relationship.  When you invade her personal space, you send the message that you don’t trust your girlfriend.  This can easily lead to the end of the relationship.

You get stronger over time.

When you wake up in the morning and the hurt’s so real, you may believe that you will never get over the break up.  But the truth is that not only does time heal all pain, but you will emerge from the break up a stronger person.  As philosopher Frederick Nietzsche said, “that which doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.”

 It’s okay if it wasn’t meant to be.

Coming to accept that a relationship wasn’t meant to be is a key factor in healing.  If you had started projecting your relationship into the future – considering marriage, thinking about children – and then the woman you were with broke everything off, consider it a blessing.  It is better to end a relationship that wasn’t meant to be earlier rather than later.

 Good things don’t happen unless you make them happen.

Finally, the last lesson I want to share with you is that you can’t control what happened, but you can control to how you react to what happened.  If you want good things to happen in the future, you have to make them happen.

Go out and meet some new people.  Have some fun.  Eventually, you will find another relationship.  And, if you have followed the advice in this article , the relationship will be even better and stronger than the previous one.

After a break up, you may move on to other people.  But, when you constantly find yourself thinking you want your ex back, are there things you can do to rekindle an old relationship?

First, clear your energy from other people.  Don’t invest time and energy in men who aren’t your ex.  For your old relationship to start working again, you have to prepare your mind, body and soul for him.  If you are flirting with another guy, dating other men, or even worse, sleeping around, you are not preparing the proper mindset for getting your ex back.

Next, keep your dignity.  Don’t chase your ex, flooding him with hundreds of text messages, calling him at odd times of day, or stalking him.  Also, you need to make him respect you and treat you well.  Don’t be a doormat.  You will only command your ex’s respect and love when you are yourself at your best.  Hold your head high.  You will increase your chances of getting back together with your ex if you do.

Third, make a list of the things you appreciate about your ex and spend some time dwelling on them.  Sometimes, a bad break up ends with all kinds of accusations.  Now that you have some breathing room, start to concentrate on his good points.  This is a good thing to do when you want ex back.

Next, when you get back together, try changing some of the circumstances.  Go to new places and try new things.  Take up a new hobby together.  Meet new people.  By changing the environment of your relationship, you have a better chance of making it work.  Don’t fall into the same old patterns of your relationship.  You may even want to tune your relationship down a notch.  If you were living together, try having separate places for a while.  If you were engaged, try just dating.  Don’t try to force your relationship back into old patterns.

Finally, create a shared sense of destiny.  While fate certainly plays a role in our lives, we are the ones who write our life script.  Map out with your partner where you want to go.  When you do this together, you create a mission with a place for both of you.

When you want your ex back, you have to work with new scenarios.