How to Win Your Ex Back When Love Still Exists
Posted by Jack
Do you really want to win your ex back? If you had a close, loving relationship with a man who later dumped you, you may want to get back together. You may have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame. Here’s how to win ex back.
First of all, you need to analyze your own feelings. Do you still care deeply about your ex? Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable. You don’t want to lose your ex because he’s like an old slipper. But comfort doesn’t make a great relationship. There has to be a great love. If you still have passionate feelings for your old boyfriend, you can move onto the next step of how to win ex back.
And that next step is examining how he feels about you. Does he have the same kind of grand love? If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on – communication, time management, goal awareness – then you can win ex back. But, if the problem was deeper – he was no longer in love with you – you should start to move on now.
When you have determined that this was real love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together. For instance, think back to who you were when your boyfriend fell for you. Maybe you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.
After you spend time with a guy, you begin to change. You spend less time with girlfriends or on your own activities as he begins to demand more of your presence. You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in his affection.
If you want to win ex back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with.
Another tip to how to win ex back is to practice detachment. Don’t call, text, or stalk him. You don’t want to appear desperate. By seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to him.
In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family. You take up hobbies and other things which interest you. You become a more positive person in general. This all helps in win ex back.
When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage. For example, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it. If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again. Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to win ex back.
From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events. Ask him to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite him to a party. Let him know he’s free to bring a date.
Finally, if you want to win ex back, just be yourself. Either he’s in love with you or he isn’t. You can’t change who you are to win your ex back. You can only be who you really are.
How To Make A Rebound Relationship Work
Posted by Jack
A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else in order to get over breaking up with you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.
And that’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.
It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love.
Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.
If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.
The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.
If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.
Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.
That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.
Here are the best steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:
· Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her figure this out on her own.
· Don’t apologize over and over. If you did something wrong, say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.
· Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.
· Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.
· Do not ever, ever beg her to take you back.
When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t worry. The rebound relationship is a sign that she still loves you.